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we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

by / Thursday, 04 August 2022 / Published in tribute to a great community leader

If she doesnt, DO NOT have sex with her. silver_dragon_girl Nothing. And if this woman buys that line, shes a moron too. And if you arent ready for a child, then use a goddamn condom. Also, if the other woman keeps the baby, this is going to provide significant insight into her boyfriends character that will help her make her decision. How about if I choose to opt out of THAT? This week she contacted him to say she was pregnant. They can either hope the woman opts to not keep the baby, or they pay. If he doesnt do this, and the woman gets pregnant anyways, he needs to show maturity and be responsible for his decisions. * However, if you bang and get knocked up by tiger woods (quite possible given his standards) you will be set for life and hence a lottery win is born. She deserves to be treated as cheap and unwanted but he doesnt deserve to skate free. How about getting to know one another really well before having sex? female ele4phant They should act responsibly. And alimony is given to whichever spouse made less income, not women as a rule. Those double standards take up too much room. Then how does the woman get off require the man to do it? lets_be_honest People who say that are codependent, melodramatic, or 15. Why isnt it fair of him to be angry? April 10, 2012, 7:21 pm. If not, then why cant a man sever all legal and fiscal responsibility prior to the childs birth (as it would be a parallel situation)? It sounds glib, and I mean, malarky? It is scummy though. Its not some windfall for women. Wow, thank you so much Lili. SpaceySteph Temperance He had sex, she got pregnant, presumably its his, and hell provide support. Now after checking his texts, why did you confront the other women? He ought to get a vesectomy since this guy is obviously carrying the manchild gene. After crying, talking, and crying a lot more, he left, and I closed the door behind him. All it is is having someone served w papers requiring them by law to have a q tip swab their mouth. Let me fill you in on reality: when a guy sleeps with a woman he believes to be on the pill, he does so with the not-unreasonable expectation that she doesnt want to become pregnant. This is a process and it's got a lot of risks. April 10, 2012, 4:22 pm. So, if MEN can be compelled to support children after rape, you must also support the idea that WOMEN can be compelled to support that child in the womb after THEY get raped. And yes it a double standardoh wait men dont have uteruses, silly me. AndreaMarie I wouldnt be single again for all the tea in china. April 9, 2012, 11:00 am. That support is not hers. If you were driving your car, and looked down at the time, and hit the child would you ask the parents of that child to not report you to the police, because its also there fault for letting there child run in to the street? Well, now it's been years. End of story. Im not so sure why he isnt allowed to be angry at her decision to keep the baby. April 10, 2012, 11:45 am. because it is the womans responsibility to take her pill on time, etc if thats the type of birth control shes chosen. lets_be_honest it happens. Sounds like he found something easy, and easy cost a lot.money and happiness. April 10, 2012, 10:41 am. I noticed you dutifully avoided addressing that. He doesnt want to be with you. They arent bad people because of it. Its not a crime to have unprotected sex, dangerous and irresponsible, but not a crime. Shortly afterward we learned that he got the other woman pregnant. This man seems to be both irresponsible and immature so be glad you can move on and not be stuck with him. Thank God for the real men. lets_be_honest 1970 Mustang Mach I "Synergy Green Pearl"351 Cleveland - Fuel Injection "The Rattle Shaker" Complete nut and bolt rotisserie restoration LESS than 500 miles by C.A.R.S. She isnt a woman he wants to be with his entire life. Your logic is weird. So the law says, hey, you two created this child, you two are responsible for supporting it. But let me make a few suggestions Steve. Either way, it sounds like she and this douchenugget guy are made for each other. Email usyour questions for Dr. Sherry now and be sure to include Ask Dr. Sherry in the subject line. The thought of a child waiting for him at home makes going away so much easier. LW, why in the hell would you want to get with this guy right now? The fact that the courts have found that men should be obligated to support mistakes is motivated by a desire to secure the welfare of the child. Its painfully obvious. . Again, he has not opted out of the childs life. They look at it as their child, no matter who the mother is. She goes to a restaurant and orders a meal that doesnt explicitly say that it has peanuts in it, but the restaurant has several other dishes that have peanuts in it. It can pick up cells from a previous ejaculation, but peeing flushes them off. 1) Like it or not, men have one point where they can decide whether or not to risk becoming parents (ie before sex, they choose the degree of risk based on what, if any, precautions they take). female lets_be_honest I had no idea most women hated it. Cant say Id give one to a stranger but intercourse with a stranger isnt my cup of tea either. Having read some of the (ahem) well-reasoned responses to my post (and your response), I realize the interwebs are probably not the best place to argue the merits of paternity law. So, it's up the guy to put the idea out there of getting back together and proving to his ex that it's worth a shot. If they do, he is obligated to support the child. April 9, 2012, 2:39 pm. But if its not, ITA with Amanda, LW. Wrapping it up doesnt prevent pregnancy. Im arguing that he should be able to get out of the responsibility in the same way that a woman can get out of that responsibility. TheQuietOne lets_be_honest Consider that this child should be the most important thing in his life, more important than you. Problem. Shall I and all the other taxpayers? Its a good word. I cant help but think just as she has a choice to abort, keep or put up for adoption, he too has a choice and while not admirable, it may be for the best. You see being nurturing as a weakness. Im a guy, and I think that the BF is a loser scum bag. Watch your language young lady! My boyfriend and I lived in different states and after years together, my worst nightmare came true: he cheated on me and ended up having a baby with the other woman. I dont want to be too harsh on the LW because emotions are a messy messy thing and Im not at all eloquent when Im upset. lets_be_honest Once again its the way the LW and the bf (at least the way the LW is presenting his reactions) acted about the potential baby that are rubbing people the wrong way. it comes across really condescending and I think it makes people take your reasoning less seriously. reader, confused.i.is+, writes (25 January 2008): All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft. Regardless, I again find a double standard in saying he must be scum to not want to be in the childs life but that opting to give a child up for adoption is a perfectly viable choice for a woman. We started dateing again and have been for about 3 months and we have plans to save money and get an apartment. April 9, 2012, 12:45 pm. April 9, 2012, 1:49 pm. And not even the most important part. She is certain it is his. I agree people who are dysfunctional should not stay together for the sake of the kid it will just make things worse. I know that everyone is focusing on that, but I think that the response would have been the same even if the LW had acknowledged this. Every woman who has given a child up for adoption is, in your mind, an immature asshole. Or is she trying to get him to live up to his responsibilities (which he brought on himself when he had unprotected sex and got someone pregnant)? Painted_lady personally i think this is a confusing, gray area that Im not sure I know the answer to. The fact that you are even considering getting back with this guy right now blows my mind. Any woman who cant see the pleasure in such a sacrifice is too selfish to be in a relationship. Let him deal with the consequences of his own actions without relying on you to rescue him. I dont care. If a pregnancy results after you do the very thing you know can cause pregnancy you have no one to blame but yourself and whining about your lack of choices or the burden of what you must now do is unproductive and frankly, a little too late. Meaning, a woman SHOULD ask the guy who knocked her up what he would like. If he was the kinda guy that decided he wanted to be in his childs life every 5 years when it was convenient and made promises that he never kept and lost interest after a while, that would be seriously damaging to that childs sense of self-worth. All magically on the pill? I think difference is ensuring that the child is cared for. Not everyone believes that. I told him to stay with her and have this family as I dont want to be any cause for them breaking up, but he told me there was no way he was staying with her because he cant stand her. Run as if your life depends on it because it does. The woman then apparently became pregnant with apparently the guys child. I dont think I have ever seen so many thumbs up on one post And it deserves them! Reframed to show the immaturity of the argument: And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING CUSTOMERS to order fries with that? I mean sure I can relate to the horrible emotions one gets about thinking that their guys (even if hes an ex at this point!) Kansas City, Missouri. At this point, she doesnt even know for certain that the woman is pregnant or that its his child. April 10, 2012, 7:35 pm. It was one of those comments that deserved the opportunity to be liked twice anyway. he was told that he could not have any children so i thought she wasnt his. Look, you broke up with him because your relationship had some problems, and because of trust issues, and his inability to commit to you. April 9, 2012, 5:24 pm, The mention of being logical for some reason made me think of the whole idea of true abandonment. Whether or not the current laws are unfair to the man are irrelevant since this child has already been conceived. April 10, 2012, 10:20 pm. That way you and only YOU get to decide which woman you deign to procreate with. If theres anyone whos unfairly been put in this mess, its not you its the baby. Beyond that, no one really cares that he jumped in bed with another woman right after they broke up only to decide that he cant live without her after getting said woman pregnant. Really!? He can be one he better be one- and still be a loyal partner to you. I kept waiting for someone to say this. She experiences an allergic reaction and has to be rushed to the hospital. The woman also gets to choose to keep the baby if she wants (even against his wishes), and gets the added benefit of forcing an unwitting and unwilling father into servitude for what is completely and totally her choice by your own admission. And shame on you for agreeing that he is entitled to this opinion. There is no child at conception very good. Am I being selfish if I tell him not to go to the doctors appts and be in the labor room? Babies come from the hospital. T he mystery of Tom's sudden baby endured until several years ago when I looked him up on Facebook. Like condoms until you actually know you can trust them. A condom would have prevented this whole thing AND protected you from STDs. Wrong. Be a grownup, decide if this relationship is worth the less perfect, more dramatic parts, and act accordingly. Stop going backwards. pretty sure he is actually an extreme pro-lifer who is playing into his rhetoric backwards. The only ones who dont are the ones who dont ask for it and/or whom the court deems is unable or unfit to. Welcome to parenthood. April 10, 2012, 12:45 pm. But woman, grow the hell up. Just as the guy needs to respect the ladys decision to keep it. And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. So, hey, lets jump on him and discuss how vile he is because he didnt take measures to avoid it (and lets do so without any actual proof that he didnt wear a condom, that she wasnt on the pill, and so on). If youre going to have sex with someone you are not in a relationship with, be prepared that a *pregnancy* might happen. And, again, this is common except with those inflicted with social disorders who cant seem to not say exactly what theyre thinking. Please help. Or shes financially and emotionally ready to have a baby. 99 % of people would necessarily mean about 99 % of women. I love him so I'm willing to accept the baby. April 9, 2012, 2:44 pm. Deadly, sure, but not highly infectious. And if so, Im ready. His character and judgment are awful. Yes, its true it is past the point. The law does not say men need to be financially responsible if the woman decides he should be. He has a choice he can be a father and split the responsibility with the mother instead of forcing her to have sole responsibility. If you choose to roll those dice against any odds you have yourself to blame if they dont land in your favor. I ended up feeling sorry him, and I started talking to him again, but2 weeks laterhe said the pregnant girl was threatening to hurt herself and he was going to be with her and that he cared too much about her and his unborn child to not try to work it out. April 9, 2012, 12:29 pm. Imagine that you get to design a law that will allow fairness no matter which of these happens. lets_be_honest If youd like to share you e-mail, we could correspond more about this. It could fail. slept with someone else. Now, I highly doubt the LWs boyfriends baby mother to be is psychotic as my friends former hook up. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. I think the whole situation is a mess though, & youre 2nd paragraph (She seems proud of his bad-boy ways and his current claim that she is the only woman who can tame him into marriage) is spot-on. Dont choose to roll those dice if you cant cope with all of the possible outcomes. If she does your boyfriend will deal with the aftermath of having sex without a condom. Its more than I can handle on a Monday! She looked enough to bang, though, huh? female SpaceySteph She came first. There is no inherent unfairness in current laws child support is gender-blind. And those young boys and those young boys parents have wages garnished for the next 18 years to pay for the rapists child. April 9, 2012, 5:48 pm. Not that she had the audacity to get pregnant after sex but for keeping the baby. If her fiance adopted the child, then he is the legal father and she would go after him for Child Support.

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we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

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