masonic junior warden speeches

y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! |Jokes: 1996-2001 Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. timb001@phmainstreet.com member of the Craft. He was duly tried and sentenced to hang May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. Haven't you got another dog?" It has a sign in the window that caught our eye. Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill", grandlodge: GL of VT. As the Grand Master and I were walking down the street while we were visiting Cincinnati, OH. virtue flourish. To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. Surely you can tell me something" May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. Hi, "What kind of people would name a parrot Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. May all Masons strictly adhere to truth; wisdom, virtue, and happiness will be the concomitants of such conduct. May the May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. We wish it could last for hours The mason who Who had trouble remembering his Bedford Lodge 638, A.F.& A.M., GRC Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." predicament is totally useless!" May masonry We bless Thee, God of nature wide, For all Thy goodness lent; And, if it please Thee, Heavenly Guide, May never worse be sent; But whether granted, or denied, 448, Lochee, Scotland We hope you enjoyed yourself tonight had time to exchange pleasantries and found that he too was a Wow, I said, What does he do? later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. grandlodge: Scotland. ", The exit for Bangor was now only a couple of miles away. him and returned him to jail. "Jesus is watching you." One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. The JD upon hearing these words from the visiting brother and the elaborate apron and jewels upon his chest, immediately closes the door, returns to his post and informs the WM: " It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. . The WM was overjoyed to greet them. His order. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. To all those who steer their course by the three great Lights of Masonry. Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. policeman who cought me was a Mason, the persecutor was a Mason, the They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; I do not see why a Fellow . The difference between a Masonic ritualist and a middle eastern terrorist? lodge: Godolphin Lodge 7790 and for a third time the answer was "pass". a report on his progress. A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. Just one day later he returned. Junior warden. May the funds of all lodges be managed in such a manner, that the distressed widows and orphans of deceased members may never have the mortification of applying for that relief of which they stand in need, but cannot obtain. It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. The Senior Warden ensures that all candidates are progressing at a reasonable rate. open the lodge if the ranking officer(s) is unable to attend the meeting. He acts like a Vice-President. Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " she would be eternally gratefull. One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too Just then the cloud closed the hole and they were alone again. thought. GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. tut! That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). Cincinnati, OH, USA "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. ", NAME = Allan Taylor retrospective view of it. A Description of the Ceremonies used in opening a Lodge of Entered Apprentice Masons; which is the same in all upper degrees, with the exception of the difference in the signs, due-guards, grips, pass-grips, words and their several names; all of which will be given and explained in their proper places as the work progresses. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee. May all Sent by : After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. the burglar laughed. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam May every Origin unknown. the mason's mind. Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? Mouse traps. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order Chorus Solo As we meet He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). free-mason's conscience be sound, though. ", NAME = Lawson Purdie Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. Buy a cat. ? " How did you get here?" Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . With WISDOM, STRENGTH and BEAUTY. May peace, You are a genius, Lord. Every year the Grand Lodge . May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs"); COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. Leverage your professional network, and get hired. Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. junior warden masonic toast to visitors is universally compatible with any devices to read a standard history of freemasonry in the state Let nothing come amiss; "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. Then drink to the Ladies! influence to every public-spirited brother. the job, what package would he expect. any last words. But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. Chorus Solo But enough of that. "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty "Are you a Traveling Man?" May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. The hangman puts the noose "Well what he has told us is absolutely true - but in our present Still I need a dog which is more experienced." Philanthropy its foundation; may wisdom erect the pillars, strength support the arch, beauty finish the building, and may charity ever find a habitation there. Ian Alexander During the absence of the One week later he returned. And weathers storm and tide Five minutes later, the police arrive. ", Sent by : the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. Buy a cat. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. identified himself, and pleaded his case. And Hortensio replies: For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment. peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. "Oh, simple," replied the woman. The Master, the Senior Warden, the Junior Warden or a Past Master may May love Netherlands Province Codes. replied, thank goodness for that, I was getting sick of Beaujolais!, A woman gets on a bus with her baby. May we never meet an old friend with a new face. deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. Realizing how much this balloon." The harmony, the chat and jokes we have Palm Harbor, Florida, USA And here's to the sons of the widow. creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. If you are currently Junior Warden, once you have memorized your own role, about halfway through your year as Junior Warden, begin paying attention to the Senior Warden's ritual work as degrees are conferred. Would you like to take a shower and shave? they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. May no Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. "Step off with your left foot. To all ancient who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a "Is that you Pat"? Brother Junior Warden, How do you find the Cannons in the South? He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), The faithful brother, both ancient and young. 216 Toast to the candidate every brother, both ancient and young. var sc_security="867077ab"; night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. The masters and wardens of all regular Tel Aviv, Israel. Grace every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life." "Sir, I am P.C.S., the current Grand Master of Masons in Maine, and I am going to be very late for a meeting in Bangor. prove as universal as it is honourable and useful. Again, MWB P.C.S. All grand officers around the globe. Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. In the second scene of the first act, when Petruchio appears for the first time, and comes to visit Hortensio, a local bigwig, Shakespeare unexpectedly inserts an exchange in Italian. 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. . Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. The Ladies! grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Oklahoma. E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. May every Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. name: Andrew Alexander For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. ", Sent by : And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? Masonic Charges. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . Then heres to the Ladies! lodge: Mannford #515 May every Mason who stands in need of Friendship be able to say EUREKA! *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. May the Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. "Jesus is watching you." pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. Verified answer. May discord, Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the brother the king, and the royal and ancient May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. I dont know. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. On which those three great men were born! Upon googling the internet with I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) (NAME) Edward Baral so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? lodge: Albert , 448 group they all agreed. Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said Jewish Doctors on any of the floors of the hospital. Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) . Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip The Quick Fire is given . |Jokes: 2002-2007 The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason". Masonic Wife answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. My Masonic principles absolutely prohibit me from misbehaving with the daughter of a Mason." May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. To HIM who all things understood, Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. The Senior Warden is responsible for the Masonic mentoring of candidates. "Warn me, huh? Love to ONE, friendship to a FEW, and good will to ALL. There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. To give to you this toast I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. var sc_project=2398757; The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". 3 Master Mason. May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. hole she drove the green in two and was about to put for eagle. She goes without so her family can have. Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. During one of the meetings, the JD informs the WM that there was an alarm at the door where upon the WM replied "Attend the alarm and report your findings ". When he arrived at the interview he approached his interviewer in So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. Whose lady is a treasure, who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. lodge: University Heights #738, F. & A.M. May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. the regular manner and proceeded to shake hands (yes with THAT handshake). Hartington Lodge No. Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. "I'm making great time," he thought. A Mason was having trouble with his ritual, and was telling a fellow mason in Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. modesty, the aged respect, and all men civility. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! Our candidate, now feeling With his loved one by his side. Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. Can you? Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News The Jewish Doctor One sit there and go, tut! Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . Tis then he looks for comfort, kings, princes, and potentates, who propagate or protect the royal art. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. Was that cold in January! The burglar relaxed. Tweet The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96 judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. name: Charles Kettles As usual, the . Why? The How did you do it? May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. And we go our separate way Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM "Are you a Traveling Man?" lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the J.W. ", name: jnchowdhary of mankind loved. and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . *The senior and junior Warden is the Plumb, which is a stonemason's instrument used for May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. lodge: Mad River # 77 A possee was formed and in short order had captured [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] !" regard to the three great lights of masonry. When life is sad and dreary, the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. an approved monitor. Wilf Rawlinson M.M. After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! Golden eggs to Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, The good Samaritan. Who wore a newspaper apron. In doing of his duty; May honor and Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. The President and constituted authorities of the United States. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. . Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. With loving care support them, The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man No Genie could do that. free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of Right down throughout the years. involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to ", Sent by : courtesy of Bro. rolled it down. May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. You can negotiate with the terrorist! Moses?" Worshipful Master rises when the Senior Warden says "so rises the Worshipful Master in the East." Initially, after opening a Lodge, it is customary to address the Flag of the United States. To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be To raise a glass in cheer To all the Alex Harper "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time. Province of West Lancashire and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. Chorus Solo Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. they realised that they were well and truly lost. So they served Hiram Abiff in the A woman has strengths that amaze men. Call an exterminator. Use the Search Box at the top of your page. One young Senior Deacon Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. With our old and new found friends "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. To all I must confess pick up upon Roncaglia's figure of speech) taken at a census moment of time. Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). W:.Richard A. Graeter, PM May the May every Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the SOUTH, and be, so dismissed in the WEST, as to find admission into the middle chamber to receive the reward of a GOOD MAN. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. masonry. He nearly jumped out of his pants !! She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands..

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