matilda pick up lines

I'll have her for that. MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. [her car has broken down] A weakling? MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. MISS TRUNCHBULL Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? MR WORMWOOD You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. Mr. Wormwood: As long as you dont know it with the volume up. What is your name? "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. A flaming escapologist? Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . . Oh, that's where it's at! Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. [She flicks the screens off again.] The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: MRS PHELPS enters. My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. MISS TRUNCHBULL CHILDREN I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. Right. Absolutely, sir! You fool! Hide me! SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE! All grown-ups get scared, just like children. MISS HONEY ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] 7. Harry Wormwood: PICK UP LINES! The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. [to MATILDA] You! Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. But my mummy likes them! "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". Oliver Twist . A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! When the hinges creak and the door is closed, Stood! DOCTOR But I didn't . MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. Let's leave maths for the time being . Ah-ah-aah-ah You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! I swear, I won't take our love for granite. He flails around the stage.] . Mr. Wormwood: You're off to school in a few days' time. I sold it for $2,269. I'm the best! A baby, Mrs Wormwood. Trunchbull: Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. MATILDA Mr Wormwood! [She underlines the sentence on the board.]. Maybe. Agatha Trunchbull: In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. But if I try I can remember, But to me, they tell a deeper story. Matilda: But I . Good-bye, Miss Honey. Wot? No, it's a library book! YoU listen here, my dear, Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. And I will teach you a thing or two. BIG KID [BEN] "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. A child. In . I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. Yes! Lost your appetite? I'll tell you when you are full. Mind? MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. [talks to the woman librarian] Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: Bambinatum! Jenny : Quite the contrary. Where's his fingie? MATILDA You are a crook. Zinnia Wormwood: 2. Am I . NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. 3. Oh, my hair! 3. Okay! . Do I allow pigs in my school? . MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST One should avoid confrontation when possible. Don't just stand there like a wet tissue. Students: Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? If you don't, I will get you. You'll be surprised at how well it works. MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. What do I have to do to gain respect around here? It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. A book? So he invited the mother's stepsister to come and live with him. MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. And today is a very special day: your first day of school! This boy's got no fingie. Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. Just knock on the door. CHILDREN There's more the second part. LAVENDER puts the wooden spoon back in his hand. Agatha Trunchbull: And . Come on, Bruce, be our hero. . MR WORMWOOD Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! Oh, did I not mention? And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. Please, stand, and do as much as you can. His fingie. A life. MISS TRUNCHBULL Bruce! Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. Mrs. Wormwood: There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle Did you see all those packages outside? MR WORMWOOD Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. [COUPLES RUDOLPHO No "buts". Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] . I can pretend I'm an . The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. A purple spotlight starts to make its way from Bruce across the classroom. . . Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . The chances of existence almost infinitely small. MATILDA MATILDA You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. . MAN: I think he blinked. Harry Wormwood: You don't need happiness or self-esteem. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] Oh my. One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. I have suffered in this jail. BACKGROUND SINGERS [picks up two bowls of cereal] I have all these extra. She starts the video screens playing again. Glad I never was one. He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. $5,000? LAVENDER And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! Her mind? So she's learned a few tricks. And remember to be eXtremely careful. . To stand up and be proud! MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. [to MATILDA] You! I don't know anybody who did. Oh, my good Lord! Have a marshmallow. MISS HONEY Why? A denizen of the underworld! Trunchbull: MATILDA collects the remains of her book. MATILDA Aaaargh! She says they make me look pretty! Agatha Trunchbull: Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. [into recorder] MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. All right. And remember to be extremely careful. "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Somewhere along the way, my dear, DOCTOR Platinum blonde hair dye. Think of the possibilities.". He surely can't! What's this? [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] What? [turns to Michael] Go on, then! 1. You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? MISS TRUNCHBULL Might she be a little brighter than her class? Ten times two is twenty. No, it's fine. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . No, not there! Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Thank you for suggesting it. She'll call a truce, Bruce. Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. . Yes! Well, you got a light. [His stomach growls.] A fool? off to prison you both shall go!". Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. A single slice, MISS TRUNCHBULL MISS TRUNCHBULL I think he blinked. I shall pound you. MRS PHELPS What've you done with his fingie? Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] With a little help from us, she could go to university before she . The 3rd cost $68. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. Conclusion - Best Pick Up Lines. DOCTOR But I'm his little soldier. Oh, you stupid man. She stops in triumph. And if you want to teach success, Am I wrong? [noticing her books] . She laughs. My daddy says I'm a bore. I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. I did *not* glue my hat to my head! It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! Harry Wormwood: But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! If you took your time , CHILDREN [walking out of the room excitedly] Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. The hat rack is taken away. He surely can't! 4. One times two is two. Harry Wormwood: Oh, let's put it this way. a contract. And you know where you'll end up? You gotta get up and be loud! Matilda: Matilda: Tess of the D'urbervilles . FBI Agent Bob: Innocent victims of their story. I mean, it's just not normal for a girl to be all . AMANDA and ERIC Now, can anyone read this? I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. LAVENDER . If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. No. Just go back to school! You gotta be loud! Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. MISS TRUNCHBULL And . But it's a truth empirical [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. MATILDA THE MUSICAL. And I shall crush you. MISS HONEY Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! Agatha Trunchbull: Matilda: NIGEL And people would come from miles around: kings! [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. You MISS HONEY AAHHH! These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Completely different cars, sir. B-R-O-O-C-E! . Mrs. F-F-I. [He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is]. MRS WORMWOOD You wanted cake, you got cake! COUPLES Ahh! Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? I really hope you have a search warrant. Your hair! "Escapologist", he says! [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] Sell me a lemon? FBI Agent Bob: Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! There's, erm . Stop. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. We have everything . And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Why don't you run away? to the rules. No excuse, Bruce. Even me. Ladies and gentlemen! Zinnia Wormwood: One minute in your company, and suddenly I'm thinking of new paint colors. google_color_bg="EDC7C2"; Jenny: Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. Mrs. Wormwood: MISS HONEY It's time you learned the family business. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". Bye, Mrs Phelps! Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! They are good runners, sir. . [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. MATILDA Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? How dare they speak to me like that! Harry Wormwood: When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson! BIG KIDS She'll call a truce, Bruce. You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. Harry Wormwood: . Harry Wormwood: [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. Don't be pathetic! The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. Come along, Bogtrotter. MISS TRUNCHBULL Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. 'Pfffft,' you think, 'what's so grand about some silly math pick-up line?' Nine times two is eighteen. Matilda: Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. A beautiful, beautiful little girl. Hmm. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. 4 0 obj Is it some modern miracle of calculus The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . 13. Mr. Wormwood: Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. ALL GIRLS Well, then stop her reading! Is your nickname glucose? A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. I have to tell you, Headmistress, that in . Leave it alone, Jenny. Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. Harry Wormwood: Two times two is four. Gloria Magitum! Narrator: | Between you and it, have you read a whole book? COUPLE 4 Not yet, anyway. Agatha Trunchbull: Where'd all this come from? [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. RUDOLPHO See you tomorrow! It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. Nicholas Nickleby . I don't want green hair. The most common thing in life is life . and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. Put your light on. DOCTOR . You've seen one before. I've got a plane to catch at three. MATILDA [He throws the phone to the lackey.] RUDOLPHO Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. . Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the Zinnia Wormwood: Dad too. Harry Wormwood: ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD Check it if you don't believe me. Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. Chew your food; you're an animal! They're cops, Dad. My mummy says I'm a miracle. They're individual! Just because you find that life's not fair, it . MRS WORMWOOD He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! You'd better hide! Yes. They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. Yes, sir. . BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. MATILDA cancelled! MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! No one's gonna care if you don't care, MRS WORMWOOD Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? BIG KIDS I'd love to meet her, actually . The boy's a looney. . Cat in the Hat! I think I'm gonna keep this on. In . [She presses an intercom on her desk.] LAVENDER A really strong stomach. Someone told her I did it, but I never! Don't be disgusting! BIG KIDS I'm the best! DOCTOR Harry Wormwood: Yes, Miss Trunchbull. NIGEL lies down on the ground. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. What have I told you about wearing pigtails? Here we are, my heartstrings! You have to put it right. No! And Even if you put in heaps of eFfort, Matilda: This living 'eLl. My mummy says I'm a miracle, . "Right"? Harry Wormwood: I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town.

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